IFS Coach for Men & Self-Critical High Achievers

What is IFS?

Heal Like Nothing Else

I am a Certified Level 3 Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. This is the highest level of training possible. I have taken numerous additional trainings as well (see bottom of page) and now teach IFS / parts work to other professionals. I use this modality both as a practitioner and receive it as a client. There is no other modality I have seen be so successful with men.

While I use IFS in conjunction with other techniques, many clients contact me specifically for this work. With thousands of professionals still on waiting lists to receive IFS training, I'm proud to offer this in-demand approach.

Have you ever felt like there are different parts of you constantly at war? Maybe one part wants to be bold and share your truth, while another is terrified of vulnerability and shuts you down. Instead of continuing habits of self-conflict, IFS allows us to heal our parts so we can finally be at peace and become who we really are.

For the High Achiever

The Achievement Was Never Going to Be Enough

You've already done the thing most people think will fix this. You worked harder, went further, built something real, and became the person others point to as proof that discipline works. And somewhere in the middle of that, you noticed the feeling never actually left. It just got quieter and better hidden.

This is the part nobody around you sees. From the outside, you look assured — maybe even like you have it figured out. Inside, you're still running the same old audit: what you haven't done yet, what could still fall apart, whether the last win actually counted or just delayed the verdict. You can be the most composed person in the room and still feel, privately, like you're one step from being exposed.

That gap — between what you've built and what you actually feel about yourself — doesn't close with another achievement. I've watched it not close for people who by every outward measure had already "made it." The problem was never a lack of results. It was that no result was ever going to be the one that made the internal voice stop.

This is exactly the terrain IFS is built for. Not motivation, not another framework for pushing harder — a way of finally turning toward the part of you that runs this whole operation and finding out what it's actually been trying to protect you from.

"You can be the most composed person in the room and still feel, privately, like you're one step from being exposed."

The Process

How a Typical IFS Journey Unfolds

1

Identify What to Work With

Do you have a critical voice inside that says you're worthless? Do you feel deep shame or chronically insecure? Do you sabotage relationships or feel nervous in social situations? We begin by identifying what thoughts, feelings, and behaviors you want to understand.

2

Learn About Your Parts

IFS lets us connect with the various parts of ourselves involved in these thoughts and behaviors — and allows us to learn how we can help them heal. Curiosity and compassion lead our way as we explore our emotions with unprecedented intimacy.

3

Heal Your Emotional Wounds

Virtually all extreme behaviors are caused by deep emotional wounds that never properly healed. IFS allows us to process these events in new ways and release pain that has been carried inside us for months, years, or even decades. It's never too late to start.

My Background

How I Use IFS

While I use multiple modalities with clients, IFS has become my tool of choice. It has allowed even the most self-critical and insecure client to find deep peace, security, and love within. I specialize in working with clients who present intense managerial systems — such as extreme self-critics — with exiled parts that carry deep shame and insecurity. IFS provides these populations with better results than any approach I have encountered.

IFS Training Completed

Level 1 w/ Paul Ginter & Marina Hassanali
Level 2 w/ Pam Krause & Galit Arad-Trutner
Level 3 w/ Richard Schwartz
Unattached Burdens & Guides w/ Bob Falconer
Embracing Legacy Burdens w/ Osnat Arbel
Daily Parts Meditation Practice w/ Michelle Glass
Working with Highly Conflictual Couples w/ Mary Kruger
Negotiating with Challenging Protectors w/ Chris Burris
Somatic IFS w/ Susan McConnell
Trauma & Medical Syndromes w/ Lissa Rankin & Richard Schwartz
Working with Legacy & Cultural Burdens w/ Ann Sinko
Befriending Difficult Protectors w/ Mike Elkin
Polarizations: Resolving Inner & Outer Conflicts w/ Ann Sinko

IFS Texts That Inform My Work

Internal Family Systems (2nd Ed.) — R. Schwartz & M. Sweezy
Internal Family Systems Therapy for Shame and Guilt — M. Sweezy
IFS Therapy for Addictions — C. Sykes, M. Sweezy & R. Schwartz
IFS Skills Training Manual — F. Anderson, M. Sweezy & R. Schwartz
Transcending Trauma — F. Anderson
Somatic IFS — S. McConnell
No Bad Parts — R. Schwartz

Common Questions

About Working With Me

IFS is a therapeutic model built around the idea that we're each made up of different internal "parts" with their own fears and goals. For men carrying chronic self-criticism or feeling like they're never "enough" despite outward success, IFS offers a structured way to work directly with those parts rather than just talk around them.

It generally unfolds in three stages: identifying the specific thought, feeling, or behavior pattern you want to understand; learning about the parts of you involved in that pattern with curiosity rather than judgment; and healing the underlying emotional wounds those parts have been carrying, sometimes for decades.

I am a Certified Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner — the highest level of formal IFS training available — with additional training in Unattached Burdens & Guides, Legacy Burdens, Somatic IFS, and working with highly conflictual couples, among other specialized IFS trainings.

Yes — this is a large part of my practice. Many of my clients are men who by every outside measure have already succeeded, yet still feel chronically "not enough," self-critical, or privately at war with themselves. IFS is particularly effective for this pattern because the problem was never a lack of achievement; it's an internal relationship that no external result can resolve on its own.

IFS: Repair Your Self-Relationship