How We Work
My Philosophy & Approach
Lasting progress comes when we see ourselves as an ally we want to help instead of an enemy we want to defeat.
The Way We Approach Change is Entirely Wrong
Most self-improvement focuses on brute-force transformation: we're given an ideal and pursue it with all our might. This generates massive self-conflict with minimal long-term change. Even if we succeed for a while, we often find ourselves back where we started.
See Yourself as an Ally, Not an Enemy
Fighting ourselves wastes energy that should be spent on forward progress. Self-collaboration yields better fruit than self-conflict. Our job isn't to figure out who we "should" be. We already are someone. Our job is to figure out who this person is and what lets them thrive.
Improve the Relationship You Have with Yourself
Living in self-alignment lets us channel all our energy toward honoring who we really are and creating a life that respects our truth. We weren't born to live someone else's life. We were born to be ourselves.
Techniques & Approaches
The Tools We Use
Self-Compassion
An evidence-based intervention that transforms our self-relationship from within. Research shows the opposite of what many fear: treating ourselves as an ally — not an enemy — produces excellent results. It's amazing what we can achieve when we stop wasting energy fighting ourselves.
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
An evidence-based framework that heals emotional pain by building a positive self-relationship within. IFS excels for those who experience high degrees of shame, self-conflict, self-doubt, and fear of external judgment. With over 4,000 professionals on waiting lists for IFS training, I'm fortunate to offer this approach.
Mindfulness Meditation
Meditation allows us to transform our relationship with our minds. Nearly every client I work with adopts a meditative practice during our time together. Learning how to be still creates the mental and emotional space we need to create change. We want to respond to life, not react to it.
Emotional Skills Training
Built off my Inner Strength Training curriculum, this focuses on: connecting with and naming our emotions; feeling and processing any emotion without being taken over; cultivating security from within; and effectively communicating our feelings to others so we can be respected and loved.
A Framework for Growth
The Self-Honor Process
This framework describes the journey clients routinely move through. My job is to monitor their progress and help them navigate setbacks along the way.
Self-Acceptance
We come to peace with ourselves in a holistic and complete sense. Self-compassion and IFS excel here.
Self-Discovery
Clients embark on journeys of self-exploration — investigating themselves and trying new things.
Self-Honor
Clients take steps to create an external life that reflects who they are within.
Frequently Asked Questions
Common Questions
Every person is different. While positive results often show up within the first few weeks, most work with me anywhere from 3 months to 2 years. Some need less time, others require more. I realize coaching is an investment and do everything in my power to help clients achieve their goals as quickly as possible.
Most clients experience lasting change. It's rare for clients to need coaching again once they've reached a critical mass of internal transformation. This matches my goal: I want clients to experience lifelong independence based on a strong sense of security from within.
I know we have succeeded when a client would rather be rejected for who they are than loved for who they're not.
My work is not suitable for people who are actively suicidal or battling active drug or alcohol addiction. If you are struggling to get through your day and need help becoming a functional person, counseling is required. Coaching works best for people who can function in everyday life but struggle with persistent insecurity and/or fear.
Yes! I frequently work with clients who are also in therapy. Many have benefited from these complementary approaches. Please contact me to learn how we can set this up in partnership with your therapist.
IFS practitioners (such as myself) and IFS therapists receive the exact same training from the IFS Institute. If you're solely interested in IFS, there is no significant difference.
Yes. There are no limitations based on territory. I have worked with clients from across the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, France, Netherlands, India, and the Philippines. As long as you speak English and we can find a common time to meet, we can work together.
I received my coaching certification from Duquesne University in 2013 and have been helping individuals break out of fear ever since. I specialize in working with men, young men and women who struggle with high self-criticism and social insecurity, and college students who are stressed and nervous about the future.